We live in a world of different sorts of people, many of whom we can't trust. We live in a world where nothing is our own but... there is this place, a place we believe is our sanctuary... our home. Or is it really?
Sometimes we have everything and yet nothing. My perspective about family is somewhat similar. I have it. Yet, I don't even have it. Today I felt so lonely, almost hopeless. Almost as if there was no one to look up to and nowhere to go to. Whenever I was disillusioned by people I would look up to my family thinking, well, at least these people would always be there for me at every step. Today I realized this was not so. We're always alone no matter what happens. Family members are just like any other normal human being. Just like every one of those who kept on disillusioning me, making me lose faith in humanity. These people are just... just like them. Just like how the world is. And just one of those reasons why life becomes hard at times.
I kept quiet all the time thinking that because they were my family, I was not supposed to say anything but just accept what they did. Now, nothing made sense.
I was sick of being quite. I was sick of all the lies. I was sick of taking all blame. I was sick of everyone.
I hate lying and I hate liars. What makes it more difficult is when people lie right in front of my eyes and I’m just standing there unable to utter even a single word. Who would believe me when I’m surrounded by so many liars especially when it’s one of my own family members? What could I do? Honestly, there is not much that could be done.
It broke my heart and it made me cry because I would never expect something like that from my family, at least.
This is what I learnt and this is what I want everyone to know. Keep your expectations low. ‘Family members’ are not special people. They are just people and they would hurt us too. Do not depend on them. Be strong enough to stand on your own feet. Be your own companion. We don’t need anybody in our life to hold us when we’re falling. If we have the will to be there for ourselves, we’ll have the power to deal with all sorts of people.
Keeping expectations low does not mean we change our behavior towards them. This is what I did. Even when it would hurt the most to see them lie about me, I would smile at them. Even when it would hurt the most to be blamed for things I didn’t do, I would silently accept and apologize for it. This is how it should be. Just remember, we don’t need anyone but God.
And let’s face it, He’s always there too.
That's the way it is.
