Where did all the love go
Use to see it in your eyes
It has slowly disappeared
Replaced with sorrows sighs
Giving all I had to give
There's nothing left in me
Now stranded and all alone
Was that so hard for you to see
How many more painful days
Till my soul no longer cries
Reaching for the golden light
Where my spirit is free to fly
You can't hurt me anymore
The damage has been done
Still my love is there for you
There was no war to be won
Life is never what we plan
Maybe soon you won't be blind
Remember your lessons taught
Look within and peace you'll find
Written by: Cynthia Graver
Monday, November 30, 2009
Emo-ness personified.
I just got a real cool emo hair cut. And and a red hair dye. And yes, its the emo side of me. So all of those who really have a problem with it, one word : Whatever.
Emo hair style is nothing big. You just have to be creative in your OWN way. Like a cut or a hair dye or even makeup. Be more expressive. For dye's: Like if you have a violent nature, red and orange and bright colours would do. For someone more bubbly (although emo's are rather a bit darker and mysterious) or in other words loves colours can go for pink or green. Whatever it is its all about being yourself and the more crazier and wilder your style is, the better off you are.
I really love being an emo. I mean at least people don't bother irritating me most of the time since they know I am a reserved sort of person. But with my close friends, I am totally different. Point is, be yourself. All the time. Don't try to be someone your not. That would be just accessorizing yourself with someone else's personality, and that is so not the 'IN' thing.
OMG the topic totally shifted. Ha-ha. Can't stop laughing.
I end up changing the topic many a times, maybe cause that's the way it is.. :)
Emo hair style is nothing big. You just have to be creative in your OWN way. Like a cut or a hair dye or even makeup. Be more expressive. For dye's: Like if you have a violent nature, red and orange and bright colours would do. For someone more bubbly (although emo's are rather a bit darker and mysterious) or in other words loves colours can go for pink or green. Whatever it is its all about being yourself and the more crazier and wilder your style is, the better off you are.
I really love being an emo. I mean at least people don't bother irritating me most of the time since they know I am a reserved sort of person. But with my close friends, I am totally different. Point is, be yourself. All the time. Don't try to be someone your not. That would be just accessorizing yourself with someone else's personality, and that is so not the 'IN' thing.
OMG the topic totally shifted. Ha-ha. Can't stop laughing.
I end up changing the topic many a times, maybe cause that's the way it is.. :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Mixed. Am I going crazy? Or in other words: GAY?
I am so confused.
MY feelings are confused.
Lost and wandering in shallow thoughts.
I don't know what to do.
Out of the million things I dream of, the one which I badly want to be fulfilled is that I need someone. It's difficult without that someone. It's so hard. Falling and failing both together. Its difficult alone.
I need someone to tutor me Add-Maths.
MY feelings are confused.
Lost and wandering in shallow thoughts.
I don't know what to do.
I need inspiration.
I need encouragement.
I need support.
I need an applause.
I need a cheer.
I need hope.
I need someone.
Out of the million things I dream of, the one which I badly want to be fulfilled is that I need someone. It's difficult without that someone. It's so hard. Falling and failing both together. Its difficult alone.
I need someone to tutor me Add-Maths.
Beginning of the Dumb Days.
Back home from school.
*Sigh*
What a bad bad day. I still can't believe it. Getting straight C's and D's. WOAH! I guess someone was right. I should really stop thinking about those A's. My moral has been shattered. Broken in pieces. And those left over pieces have been burnt. I thought I had gotten a B grade in my Maths and Add-Maths, but actually these were two of those subjects in which I got the lowest marks. A *D* Grade that is. Ouch. Althought I got my marks increased in maths, so now its a C grade with a 76. And Add-Maths to no avail after long plead's. I still am stuck up with that stupid 68. UGH.
I hate school.
I hate the teachers.
I hate everyone.
I thought I at least would've gotten an A in business and economics. BUT NO! I got 88 in both. That is, a B grade. I felt like slapping myself, so I did. 4 times. It hurts a lot. Although I did go to my Economics sir, and the place where I lost my marks were on class performance. HUH HUH?!?!?! I mean I am the one who ALWAYS comes up with the best answers man! And still! This is what I get? Fine. I won't study now. Enough favouritism. I got 78 in Urdu. AWFUL MAN! I feel like banging my head against the wall.
I have NEVER in my life gotten marks lower then 85! And now. OMG! *Gasp*
NEVER MIND. I am a sucker for nothing in studies now. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
Anyways. Today I tried out the same kinda dunk my cousin had tried. His was awesome. Mine was.. WEIRD. I did try. I am short. Not my fault.
And, heard Zardari (Our beloved president) is coming to Karachi, thus the roads are blocked. I hope my mom and dad don't have problem reaching here since they are coming from London to Karachi.
And I am planning to give that prolonged 40th Birthday Party of my daddy.
I hope it goes well.
I still can't get over those stupid marks I got. Ouch man. I didn't know I was such a dumbo. I mean I have now seriously started studying like hell. I feel so low. Cried at school. Came back home. Cried. OH yeah and this is also one of those reasons why I suck at every subject now. Crying. All the time. Everyday. I suck man. I suck.
And this is NOT the way it has to be.. Not.. *sniff*
*Sigh*
What a bad bad day. I still can't believe it. Getting straight C's and D's. WOAH! I guess someone was right. I should really stop thinking about those A's. My moral has been shattered. Broken in pieces. And those left over pieces have been burnt. I thought I had gotten a B grade in my Maths and Add-Maths, but actually these were two of those subjects in which I got the lowest marks. A *D* Grade that is. Ouch. Althought I got my marks increased in maths, so now its a C grade with a 76. And Add-Maths to no avail after long plead's. I still am stuck up with that stupid 68. UGH.
I hate school.
I hate the teachers.
I hate everyone.
I thought I at least would've gotten an A in business and economics. BUT NO! I got 88 in both. That is, a B grade. I felt like slapping myself, so I did. 4 times. It hurts a lot. Although I did go to my Economics sir, and the place where I lost my marks were on class performance. HUH HUH?!?!?! I mean I am the one who ALWAYS comes up with the best answers man! And still! This is what I get? Fine. I won't study now. Enough favouritism. I got 78 in Urdu. AWFUL MAN! I feel like banging my head against the wall.
I have NEVER in my life gotten marks lower then 85! And now. OMG! *Gasp*
NEVER MIND. I am a sucker for nothing in studies now. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.
Anyways. Today I tried out the same kinda dunk my cousin had tried. His was awesome. Mine was.. WEIRD. I did try. I am short. Not my fault.
And, heard Zardari (Our beloved president) is coming to Karachi, thus the roads are blocked. I hope my mom and dad don't have problem reaching here since they are coming from London to Karachi.
And I am planning to give that prolonged 40th Birthday Party of my daddy.
I hope it goes well.
I still can't get over those stupid marks I got. Ouch man. I didn't know I was such a dumbo. I mean I have now seriously started studying like hell. I feel so low. Cried at school. Came back home. Cried. OH yeah and this is also one of those reasons why I suck at every subject now. Crying. All the time. Everyday. I suck man. I suck.
And this is NOT the way it has to be.. Not.. *sniff*
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
You're my ONLY ONE. *Smirk*
It's irritating when a guy constantly smothers a girl. I mean dude, get a life.
I mean telling a girl how hot she is, or how sexy she looks, whats the point? You're not getting her anyway.
Guys drool over girls. I repeat : DROOL. All they see are looks. What she wears, how she dresses etc. They never care about how she really is beneath those clothes. And I didn't mean that literally.
So let's suppose here's this guy and he likes this girl. The first thing he's going to do is tell a friend. After that, he'll ask that girl's friends about the girl's contact number. Or better than that, getting him introduced to her anyhow. Well if thats not possible, her cell number is the best way.
What they actually do is text and say : 'Er, did you like text me or something?'
Girl: 'And why would I do that?'
Him: 'I don't know, um well.. Who are you?'
And that's how it all continues.
Then they become friends and in a few days, the guy asks the girl out.
Oh oh, did I mention what happens during that time period of 'friend-ship'?
The guy tells the girl how nice she is and that she is the ONLY ONE who ever understands him. (Even though thats not true) And seriously this DOES happen. They act innocent. Act decent and sweet. Because they know how to play their cards right.
The guy then fakes up and tells the girl about his past experiences. All of which ended in disaster leaving him 'heart-broken'. *Big laughs on that*
And you know how girls are. They believe everything. Then pity the guy. DAMN.
And that's how after sometime both of them end up in a relationship. Even though for the guy, the girls just another 'Add-up' in his long list of ex-girlfriends. But for the girl, the guy is her only one. Her everything. And her true love.
*sigh* Life's not fair man.
Now the guys should be taught a lesson for being such retards, shouldn't they be?
I mean telling a girl how hot she is, or how sexy she looks, whats the point? You're not getting her anyway.
Guys drool over girls. I repeat : DROOL. All they see are looks. What she wears, how she dresses etc. They never care about how she really is beneath those clothes. And I didn't mean that literally.
So let's suppose here's this guy and he likes this girl. The first thing he's going to do is tell a friend. After that, he'll ask that girl's friends about the girl's contact number. Or better than that, getting him introduced to her anyhow. Well if thats not possible, her cell number is the best way.
What they actually do is text and say : 'Er, did you like text me or something?'
Girl: 'And why would I do that?'
Him: 'I don't know, um well.. Who are you?'
And that's how it all continues.
Then they become friends and in a few days, the guy asks the girl out.
Oh oh, did I mention what happens during that time period of 'friend-ship'?
The guy tells the girl how nice she is and that she is the ONLY ONE who ever understands him. (Even though thats not true) And seriously this DOES happen. They act innocent. Act decent and sweet. Because they know how to play their cards right.
The guy then fakes up and tells the girl about his past experiences. All of which ended in disaster leaving him 'heart-broken'. *Big laughs on that*
And you know how girls are. They believe everything. Then pity the guy. DAMN.
And that's how after sometime both of them end up in a relationship. Even though for the guy, the girls just another 'Add-up' in his long list of ex-girlfriends. But for the girl, the guy is her only one. Her everything. And her true love.
*sigh* Life's not fair man.
Now the guys should be taught a lesson for being such retards, shouldn't they be?
Exams over-head.
*Screams*
Yes, mid year exams are round the corner. About two weeks left. ONLY. What have I prepared? Nothing. Okay not exactly. Just got done with one chapter, of ONE subject. Don't ha-ha. It's actually a big deal to complete a chapter in one day. Since it's my O'levels that we are talking about. I so so need to Ace these exams, and if I don't I'll probably end up doing Matric or private O'levels. Which is so not how I want it to be. Better I start studying soon.
It's not just me, it's the same story with every other girl in my school. Many don't even bother to start studying. They have a carefree attitude towards the exams.
I ask: 'Damn, just 2 weeks!'
Them: 'Big deal. Chill man. 2 weeks are like 14 days! '
*Sigh*
Many are telling me to relax and have a break from my constant studies. I so need a vacation. That I know as well. But I also need those straight A's to get into a good institution. London School of Economics it is. I want to achieve this one dream and not let it fall apart in front of me like the rest of my dreams have.
There's this very stubborn and weird (but a close) friend of mine who keeps on telling me I'll fail. I need to prove it to him that I can do it. And the first one to whom I'll show my straight A's result sheet would not be my mom, dad or best friend.. but HIM!
*Yelling, loud, evil laugh*
Yes, mid year exams are round the corner. About two weeks left. ONLY. What have I prepared? Nothing. Okay not exactly. Just got done with one chapter, of ONE subject. Don't ha-ha. It's actually a big deal to complete a chapter in one day. Since it's my O'levels that we are talking about. I so so need to Ace these exams, and if I don't I'll probably end up doing Matric or private O'levels. Which is so not how I want it to be. Better I start studying soon.
It's not just me, it's the same story with every other girl in my school. Many don't even bother to start studying. They have a carefree attitude towards the exams.
I ask: 'Damn, just 2 weeks!'
Them: 'Big deal. Chill man. 2 weeks are like 14 days! '
*Sigh*
Many are telling me to relax and have a break from my constant studies. I so need a vacation. That I know as well. But I also need those straight A's to get into a good institution. London School of Economics it is. I want to achieve this one dream and not let it fall apart in front of me like the rest of my dreams have.
There's this very stubborn and weird (but a close) friend of mine who keeps on telling me I'll fail. I need to prove it to him that I can do it. And the first one to whom I'll show my straight A's result sheet would not be my mom, dad or best friend.. but HIM!
*Yelling, loud, evil laugh*
Monday, November 23, 2009
The imaginery world.
At times its just so hard to realize that you were all the time living in a lie. Eventhough you know the truth, you want to ignore it. You run away from it. But it keeps coming back again and again and recurs in your mind. It kills you from the inside. It eats you. But you still won't want to believe it. Like nothing ever happened.
You keep living in a dream of lies.
Deciet.
Falsehood.
In a world of fantasy, where your life is perfect. Where you're happy. Where everyone's there to love you, comfort you, and hold your hands. To stop you from falling apart. While you actually are, in the reality.
Mirabeau said: "Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion."
How true he is, and how hurtful it is to accept this as the truth. Because we all know it. We all know we make believe everything, even when its wrong. When its only a LIE!
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a teardrop. Another truth.
But who is there to argue? Somewhere, I know there are those who have suffered and suffered bad. And there are those who have moved on. But there are those to, who still cry. Who still weep in the middle of the night remembering those times they had once cherished.
But what can they do?
Because that's the way it is..
Its unimaginable how much deeply and intensely you can fall for somebody you barely know. Just in some time how madly you can love that person with every heart beat of yours. And, just one word by that person can change your whole day.
That love becomes your drug.
Your medicine.
Your pain.
Your cure.
Your everything.
And you don't even know how soon it does.
You become addicted to it.
And slowly it becomes your poison. Your sweetest, most desired poison. And even though you know you can live without it, you can survive and breath yet you make yourself believe that you cannot survive without this poison.
Even when it kills you from the inside.
Slowly, reaching every part of your body and absorbing in every bit.
You know its impossible to get over it.
That love becomes your drug.
Your medicine.
Your pain.
Your cure.
Your everything.
And you don't even know how soon it does.
You become addicted to it.
And slowly it becomes your poison. Your sweetest, most desired poison. And even though you know you can live without it, you can survive and breath yet you make yourself believe that you cannot survive without this poison.
Even when it kills you from the inside.
Slowly, reaching every part of your body and absorbing in every bit.
You know its impossible to get over it.
Love.
Have you ever loved someone like you have never loved anyone else in this world?
Have you ever loved someone after the thought in your head coming, 'I will never love someone, its not how I am..'
Have you ever loved someone with all your heart?
Have you ever loved someone with the best of you?
Have you ever loved someone truly?
Have you ever?
Have you ever loved someone after the thought in your head coming, 'I will never love someone, its not how I am..'
Have you ever loved someone with all your heart?
Have you ever loved someone with the best of you?
Have you ever loved someone truly?
Have you ever?
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